Archive for the ‘just for laughs’ Category

sex object

Posted: January 18, 2011 in just for laughs

“My wife is a sex object. Everytime I ask for sex, she objects!” – Les Dawson

FB

Posted: November 4, 2010 in just for laughs
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wife has been farting a lot lately… she told me this morning that she had a fart bubble. so i reckon this cartoon has the best description of what a fart bubble is…

gravity sucks

Posted: October 25, 2010 in just for laughs
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admit it. its funny.

barney farney

Posted: September 15, 2010 in just for laughs, lyrics
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damn purple thing

I love you.
You love me.
Barney gave me HIV.
It started with a hug. And ended on the floor.
I was raped by a dinosaur.

fag

isnt this tad disgusting?

shark boy turns lady boy for a bit… for once i find him cute.. LOL!

photos courtesy of agan harap. more to view at http://www.flickr.com/photos/31199746@N02/

something to laugh

Posted: July 21, 2010 in just for laughs
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im freaking bored. here’s something to laugh at/about

oommffpp!

*courtesy of daily haha
ok, it even hits the news now. the JJ Lin song/cheer (whatever you wanna call that piece) has been aired for months now. 15,231 fans of the “No offence, but the YOG song by JJ Lin sounds retarded.” page on Facebook should be one good reason to why the song failed big time. I can only imagine my friend from States, Pablo, laughing his ass off mimicking the hand motion (haduken!) and singing with his mickey mouse pitched voice as if he swallowed helium.
JJ Lin or Wayne Lin, is a local celeb who gained stardom thru singing, songwriting and acting. he should be seen as a hero. but this one song can turn the tables around pretty quickly. i have a love hate feeling for this dude. for a local to get his fame in manjan countries, he’s a hero in my eyes. but to sing that ********** (unable to describe) song/cheer for the YOG is a pretty embarassing thing to do (for me, at least… aside of me not being patriotic).

"meow"

Have you not seen the video, you ought to be living in third world country or something. It makes me into thinking that JJ Lin childhood is paying 50 cents arcade to play Street Fighter IV. He must’ve idolized Ryu or Ken. Who doesnt!?

“Bit off the dlums… pee on the ground…shoudi aw lao…make me so plawd”

how do we distinguish the difference of a typo error and someone with spelling issues? i guess its rather simple.

rightfully, a typo error is commonly ‘oozed’ outta nowhere in a middle of a well constructed perfect sentence. this also happens when words are typed so fast that the tiny glitch seems faultless. on the other hand, someone who had spelling issues are easily spotted. a blatant error would seem obvious as to perhaps with bad command of grammar.

i fall in the category of the later… but blessed with people who speaks and write awesome English around me.

in this fast paced life, anything and almost everything revolving around us is designed to simplify and automate our daily routines. with regards to this, our SMSes gets auto corrected. The word document could perform a quick spell chick within a single push on the F7 button. All our thoughts to put into words electronically, are well taken care of.

Try them manually… it might end up a little surprising…. like this…

no offence to gilbert, but..

i stumbled upon some funny pictures of the wussy vampire haters in the planet. please do check em out at my facebook photo album. http://ow.ly/27oJj

if these pictures offend any fans, im sorry… but these are too funny… if you’re pissed off with me for posting such… here.. a glimpse of hope..

samba’l assed

Posted: June 25, 2010 in just for laughs, Soccer

la congo! what an ass!

Jokes of the week

Posted: June 11, 2010 in just for laughs
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Ryan: Dad, what is an idiot?
Faizal (Dad): An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can’t understand him. Do you understand me?
Ryan: No.

Sidek: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
Omar: Hi Taxi

Nanu: Doctor! You’ve got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Dr Iqbal: Next please!

Gilbert: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Dr Wong KS: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

Man said to God — Why did you make women so beautiful?
God said to man — So that you will love them.
Man said to God — But why did you make them so dumb?
God said to man — So that they will love you.

Aliff: Why are all those people running?
Ba: They are running a race to get a cup.
Aliff: Who will get the cup?
Ba: The person who wins.
Aliff: Then why are all the others running?

Ryan: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Ryan: But I asked first!

sense

Posted: June 8, 2010 in fact, just for laughs
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sense?

some things just makes sense mathematically….

bzzzzzzzzz bzzzzz

i think my hair is residing. wait.. i dont think. i am confirming. not alarming… im ageing. im getting old. i need the volume.

just yesterday, a colleague spotted the patch of white hair on my head… of course i do have white hair. the amount of stress im dealing with daily, even my pubes might turn grey.

im hoping that my hairdo dont turn out like ray romano’s dad.  this might just be retribution for calling bald people ‘padang golf” (golf green). hahaha… its god’s gift… nothing i can do about it.

speaking of golf, the fairway at octville is looking better with the maintenance of the course.

i do hope however,  i still have hair by 40…

read em out loud

funny shit… ever.

wtf?

Posted: May 31, 2010 in just for laughs, Liverpool
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honestly… wtf? a malay banner in the liverpool forum?

for u non malay speaking beruks, it reads; “you are a lucky visitor. CLICK HERE to win an iPad.”

this is definitely a fail blog item…

booger beggar

Posted: November 4, 2008 in just for laughs
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How do you get a tissue to dance? You put a little boogie in it!
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish – 49
Adventurous – Slept with everyone
Athletic – No tits
Average looking – Ugly
Beautiful – Pathological liar
Contagious Smile – Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure – On medication
Feminist – Fat
Free spirit – Junkie
Friendship first – Former very *friendly* person
Fun – Annoying
New Age – Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded – Desperate
Outgoing – Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate – Sloppy drunk
Professional – Bitch
Voluptuous – Very Fat
Large frame – Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate – Stalker
WOMEN’S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you’ll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you’re in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You’re very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN’S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry= I am hungry
2. I am sleepy= I am sleepy
3. I am tired= I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let’s have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don’t go with that outfit = I’m gay

And finally…..
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

::pimple on my ass::

Posted: September 22, 2006 in Isk, just for laughs, rants & ramblings, Wife
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i gotta pimpy on my assy. ouchy wouchy. wifey wifey tried to squeezy weezy the pimple wimple outta my assy wassy. its funny wunny but painy wainy. i cant take it wake it anymore… wifey, please be nicey wicey to my brownie assy. i lovey wovey you. muahz.

so tired. ………..

Lessons in Logic

Posted: August 25, 2006 in just for laughs
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  • I was born intelligent -Education ruined me
  • Practice makes perfect…..But nobody’s perfect……So why practice?
  • If it’s true that we are here to help others,Then what exactly are the others here for
  • Since light travels faster than sound,People appear bright until you hear them speak
  • How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?
  • Money is not everything.There’s Mastercard & Visa
  • If your father is a poor man,It is your fate but,If your father-in-law is a poor man,It’s your stupidity
  • Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two woman
  • Every man should marry.After all, happiness is not the only thing inLife
  • The wise never marry.And when they marry they become otherwise
  • Success is a relative term.It brings so many relatives
  • Never put off the work till tomorrowWhat you can put off today.
  • “Your future depends on your dreams”So go to sleep
  • There should be a better way to start a dayThan waking up every morning
  • “Hard work never killed anybody” But why take the risk
  • “Work fascinates me”I can look at it for hours
  • God made relatives;Thank God we can choose our friends
  • The more you learn, the more you know,The more you know, the more you forget The more you forget, the less you knowSo.. Why learn
  • A bus station is where a bus stops.A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station….What more can I say……..

outfeets

Posted: August 24, 2006 in just for laughs, rants & ramblings
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dress codes have always haunt me. i never liked places which requires dress code. but have to face the fact that if we dont stick to it, we’ll look like a dork magneting public eyes. shirts and pants are No No to me. I am more of the tucked out tee with bermudas and slippers kindda guy (only if i can wear like that in office). really cant be bothered with dressing up. as long as its clean and baggy, its cool with me. crumpled tees are also ok with me. as much as i hate to iron clothes, i dislike ironed clothes as well. only if i have to wear a shirt for some cock function, then i will consider ironing them.

there is a mall nearby my crib. and i dont understand my friends who need to dress up, have their hair gelled up, lots and lots of perfume….just to go to a neighbourhood mall. wat the heck…

another reason i believe is probably they have been down to family’s practice for those who are presentably dressed everywhere they go.. but to those dressing up just to impress… its just not being urself and not for being urself … it yucks.