Posts Tagged ‘life’

sigh

Posted: August 23, 2007 in Isk, rants & ramblings, Work
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im actually quite boring. bored with the fact that i have not achieved what i want in my life. but do i exactly know what i want? and what have i done to achieve it? well as of now, im taking things with quite a big leap.

when i joined the workforce, i wanted to earn at least 30k per annum before i turned 30. well based on my low qualification, i cant really expect that much. without papers, without that much experience, there’s quite not much places you can venture. so how would i want to strike it rich? on honest opinion, its pretty tough for me. i’ve seen thru the ranks that one can only be rich with some gamble… with some risk. and thats either through stocks or business. boss aimed that i ought to be an engineer by 2007. and now, im only an AE. subjected for the next level this November… PROVIDED if things goes smooth. thats for work.

religiously, i still blow. knew that i will be sent down there beside bush, in the oven. yelling for help. knowing no one can help. the amount of sins on my left shoulder, my goodness. i think it has to be measured by tons. with more adding on… i need to work something out.

my target age of being a married man was between 28 – 35. I thought i would be when i turned 30. But i’m married when i’m 28.

academically, nothing to be proud about. financially too.

my lecturer from Ass Que Ai once said, “when you want to change, make sure you change the inside you. not the outside you”. it kindda make me wonder a lot sometimes. what can i change myself into? a better person of course. so spot on! lets make the difference…. yeah rite.

moi daye

Posted: August 23, 2007 in Isk, rants & ramblings, Work
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On calibration course these 2 days wit Jas. Rushed my way for the train. Little that i’ve noticed, this is something i’ve missed for about 3 & 1/2 years. The environment, the atmosphere, is rather comical than serious.

Students blabbering about school while they drag their bum a good 1.5km across ave 9. Some rushing adults trying hard not to exceed their time grace from work. Smoking fat lady was infront of me doing her ‘jog’ to the control station. I worry she gets chocked by her cigarette n not to mention, her awesomely tight outfit. Pretty…. Pretty gross. On the platform, there’s this dude really acted cool. Unsure if he realize that his dresscode needs the yelow to make him the traffic light for the train. Heh!

In the train, i started to get bored. My ipod is in my car, so’s my psp. Dammit. And so i create my own game. I picked 5 young, smart looking men, and 5 women in covered shoes. So i have to guess at which station they’ll drop. Stupid … Like duh. Everyone is dropping off @ either orchard, dhoby gawd or the interchange.

The class was splendidly boring! Theorically & Technically. Thank god for the 20 mins break. Had a good puff for break. And a cuppa tasty coffee. Less did I know, that place also cater for students who are taking O,A, dip and degree… they all come down to the main door for a smoke. Now i feel old. Circled by young girls and boys telling blogging with their mouth about the entertainment arena, i felt left out. Evading the situation, i climbed back to the class. Darn the stairs… but nothings will compare the “West Coast Stairs of Doom” and the “833 short stairs to stress”, not to mention the horrid stairs i climbed in Bali for my honeymoon.

The lecturer continued his Calibration formula lesson and before i know it, LUNCH TIME!!!

I had to grab the double cheese. To overcome the cold one I had a few days back. Geez, thank god the double tasted like how it should taste.

Lesson continued after lunch, and only 30 mins into it, my malaysia counterpart called. Thats it. i spent 45 mins on the phone outside class. Trying to align things for the Pee Tee Pee project. When I got back to class, it was already break.. again. Heh! The lecturer commented, my hair became messy after the phone call. He just have to make the whole class turned around and focus on my hair. Oh yeah, my hair after the cut doesnt make much difference. Damn smelly mouthed aunty.

Bla bla bla, it was already 4.30 and the lecturer calls it a day. How nice. I get to go home early. Ok la… not really that nice. But still Ok after all. The MRT journey home was somehow rather nice. It seems that every stop along line carries memory. Jas was all out for a seat. I never minded standing. The perfume from the ladies in the cabin managed to kill the pungent from some sweaty schoolboys.

My walking journey home wasnt that pleasant either. I was on the phone till i reach my void deck with colleagues talking about WORK.

Now here I am .. back home. Bored. Blogging.

getting back on track

Posted: October 12, 2006 in Isk, rants & ramblings, Work
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great .. just great. i just found out that muslims can leave the office by 5.30pm in the month of ramadhan. today is like the 16th day and i just got to know… today. thanks to jasmine. yeah… of all people.. jasmine. she was asking me “do u know the malays all leave at 5.30pm during fasting month?”
oh well… it doesnt make that much difference to me since im like only 5km away from home. but still, how come i wasnt informed. anyway, there is another reason… ive always been coming late.. very late .. this month. not to blame the fasting month..and whatever is happening lately… but its just my lack of discipline to get enough rest. knowing my body wouldnt be able to accomodate to waking up early if i had late nights, i still stayed up till 3am everyday. and by 4, the whole family is up to ‘sahur’. i will wait till about 5am to wake my wife and bak for their ‘sahur’. then get back to sleep. this will drag till 9am or even 10am. its bad.. its unhealthy for my career.
aaron, on the other hand is reviving his way thru. he had been reaching office very early. he had been very “on the balls” cos his projects have already started. and now for myself, i will wait till tomorrow. cos tomorrow marks the beginning of the project SUICIDAL.

i wanna ge tback on track. i wanna be like the old me… the workdog i was. i wanna strive .. i wanna do my best… i wanna this i wanna that… fuck la.. just see how will it be. my conscience is clear. i wanna get back on track. period.

am i?

Posted: September 25, 2006 in Isk, lessons in life, rants & ramblings
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am i too full of myself?
why do i get into unecessary trouble?
havent i been using my brains well enuff?
where has my common sense go?
am i the role model for the lousiest person on planet earth?
do i really sucked?
do i think that what i always do is correct?
am i full of myself?

am i full of myself?
do i even think before i say anything?
do i see the circumstances before acting?
am i thinking like an adult?
am i being childish?
am i being too selfish?
do i ever put in other’s feelings before mine like how i was told to?
am i being complacent in life?
am i too full of myself?

am i too full of myself?
do i really care?
do i really share?
do i really worth living or better off a living dead?
do i say the darnest things?
am i full of crap?
am i being able to lead?
do i still have my senses in me?
do i?
am i?

Looking at the mirror
staring at myself
am i thinking about u or
was it all for myself?

i’ve been thinkin… wat could i do next in life. i sould say more or less, the objectives are met. i’ve got my career path well taken care of, my love life has never been deteriorating, the relationship with my family somehow is getting good again, friends… ermm.. here and there but its still ok. but some things are still in need of tweakings. my spending habits, my diet, my religion, my self being .. all need some improvement.

yeah financially ive been getting quite an OK sum to survive till month end. but have i ever been contributing much to the house utilities? Not really. My diet needs some close observations. Sometimes i eat like there is no tomorrow. It is really affecting my health. my fagging … oh, it disgust me as much. ive not been really practising with religion matters. i know its gotta start somewhere. as discussed with wifey, i will source for some mosques nearby and start attending lessons. as for my self being, im a little changed as a person. with wifey, she added more senses in my meaningless life. and i have a reason to live.

oh my, why am i getting so emotional. heh!